I, Smith – by Harry Dewulf and Ray Fripp

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Alternatively you could read this brief (and silly) extract:

“Truth is,” said the Commissioner, “the District Attorney’s after your goddam badge.”“It’s a nice badge,” McManifold conceded.“I don’t mean that, Cheddar. I mean he wants to goddam fire you.”“He wants to fire me?” said McManifold. “Goddam sonofabitch. Fire me?”“He’s really after your goddam butt this time.”McManifold thought for a second. “Says who?”“Says me. And I got a nose for what’s happening to your butt.”“So exactly why in the name of goddam hell is the man after my butt?”The commissioner shifted uneasily on his feet. “Perhaps his nose has been following your butt and it doesn’t like what it smells.”“Says who?”“Says my nose.”“Well, perhaps you should keep your goddam sonofabitch nose out of my goddam butt.”“Hey!” shouted the Commissioner. “It’s my goddam nose’s job to follow your sonofabitch butt.”